A Child’s Heart

On Sunday, I experienced something both revelatory and devastating at the same time.  “Conviction” is probably the right word for it.  Anyway, whatever it was, I know my heart needs to change now.

I sat down at the piano to worship, as I often do.  I started singing and playing to my Father God.  Just then, the little 4-year-old boy who belongs to the family upstairs(I live in the basement) ran in and started goofing off.  After rolling around on the floor for a bit, he came up behind me, grabbed me in the right arm and shouted “JOEL!” as loud as he could in my ear.  I quickly shoved him away and kept playing, a little annoyed.  Then he came behind me on the left side again yelling, “JOEL!”

I was fed up by now, but I yelled back, “What!”

“I need to tell you something!”

“I’m playing!  You can just tell me!” I said over the sound of the music, all the while trying to ignore him.  But at that, his chance to say anything was over, as his dad came in and dragged him out of the room.  I still remember his sad, scared face as he looked back at me, probably on the way to a stern talking-to about not bothering others.

I tried to go back to worship.  Really, I did.  But I couldn’t do it.  All I could think of was this: the fact that Jesus wouldn’t have done what I just did.  Really, it hit me, that my heart was entirely the opposite of God’s in that situation, and there I was trying to “worship.”  Talk about hypocrisy.

Children just want to be with you, to talk to you, to love you.  They are enthralled and fascinated by every new and amazing thing they are given.  Ignorant and disobedient sometimes, yes, but young and willing to receive gifts and guidance from their father.

We must approach God like that.  We can’t say “I know best,” because we really don’t.  We’re not stronger or wiser than the Father, and we never will be.  We are adopted as sons and daughters of God, bought with a price.  Let’s be eternally thankful He’s not too busy to listen to us.

“But Jesus called them to him, saying,  ‘Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.’”—Luke 18:16-17

Better

I visited New York City over New Year’s, and I have to say: the bagels there are simply amazing.  Honestly, I don’t think I even knew what a bagel was before I went to New York.

This past Saturday, I was blessed to partake of two bagels from the always-excellent Panera Bread.  While they were good, they definitely paled in comparison to the New York bagels I ate less than a month ago.

It’s all about experience.  Just one short month ago, I would have said that bagels from Panera were very good.  Now, I don’t think I could say that truthfully.  What changed?  Their bagels didn’t.  I did.  My mind was literally transformed in those brief moments of NY bagel consumption.

On an infinitely more important scale, I think it’s the same way with God.  When we get that first taste of His goodness, our mind is blown away.  He is the most amazing being in the universe, and He loves us!  Not only that, but as we go deeper, grow closer to Him, we find He is even sweeter than we first imagined.  As we learn about Him through the diligent study of His Word, as we worship Him with all our emotion, as we see his power displayed in miracles, as we draw close to Him in prayer, as we declare the Gospel and see lives completely saved, we find that there is no end to His mercy and grace.

The love of Christ is so much better than we know.  Let us diligently seek to know Him better in everything we do.

“So that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.”—Ephesians 3:17-19

The Greatest Commandment

“And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”—Mark 12:30

Heart—the very core of who you are.  The Old Testament referred to it as the “bowels.”  If you strip away everything else, who are you, and why do you exist?  Do you live only to love God?

Soul—your emotions, the part of you that moves.  When you love Him, God takes you to the highest heights of emotion and sustains you through the lowest, most devastating trials.  Do your feelings and attitudes reflect His glory?  Do you let only Him move your spirit?

Mind—your thoughts.  We have an organ called the brain; we should use it for the love of God.  We can create logical arguments, deductions and theology.  We can read and write poems, stories and songs.  We can learn about Him.  Do you think of God using every neuron available?

Strength—your will and physical effort.  Every action should be done purposefully and with great discipline.   For what does God deserve but all of our strength?  Do you set in your heart that every movement of your body is wholly for Him?

In my weakness, I know I am nowhere close to loving God with all as the commandment rightly dictates.  I thank Jesus for taking my sin on the cross and giving me the grace to live unto Him each day.  What a privilege it is to be loved by God!

“Who is like you, O LORD, among the gods?
Who is like you, majestic in holiness,
awesome in glorious deeds, doing wonders?”—Exodus 15:11

Desire

I want to desire God and not desire the things of this world.  Unfortunately, there is a part of me (the flesh) that desires evil.  Fortunately, the evil desires of the world are passing away forever, when I crucify them with Christ, when I walk by the Spirit, when I make no provision for them.  My soul desires the great things of God.  I desire to do right, to see people saved.  I desire spiritual gifts.  I desire to earnestly seek God and to find Him, to be with Him.

Oh, God, burn away all of these ungodly things.  Let my desire be for You alone.

“The Spirit and the Bride say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who hears say, ‘Come.’ And let the one who is thirsty come; let the one who desires take the water of life without price.”—Revelation 22:17

He is Merciful

An attribute of God I find particularly astounding is His mercy.  It’s something we can all take for granted at times.  In fact, I’m not sure we can ever grasp how merciful He really is.

We’ve thought of this question before: why does God allow bad things to happen?  Life just doesn’t seem “fair” sometimes.  How can we keep living, and God care just enough to watch us suffer in pain?  It’s as if He doesn’t care at all, right?  Actually, nothing could be further from the truth.

Think, if God was only Justice and not at all Mercy, every one of us would now be vaporized, our souls forever in hell.  After that very first dirty thought entered our head, we would eternally disqualify ourselves from the holiness of God’s presence.  We truly are children of mercy; we have been given a chance to love God.

No matter what horrors we may encounter or sufferings we endure, remember that He had every right to eternally condemn us.  But that’s not who He is.  God is love, and He is merciful.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.”—1 John 4:10

Frailty

At this moment, I feel a little sick, a little more tired and even more worn out.  Seems like life has been going full speed ahead for the last two months straight.  Moving, traveling twice across the country, working 10-hour days, and most recently, looking for a new car.  Just about all the energy is gone.

Do you know how hopeless the DMV can make you feel?  First, finding out you don’t have enough proofs of residence to get a driver’s licence, then finding out your car is about $2000 worth of repairs short of a passing safety test and registration.  I’ve spent so much time in the last two weeks researching cars that now sitting in traffic, I’m noticing the make and model of every car on the road.  I’m making myself crazy.  And it’s cold outside.

You know what, though?  Throughout this whole ordeal, God has been faithful.  In my frailty of mind, body and spirit, He continues to sustain me.  And He’ll never stop either.  I don’t care what I have to go through, my prayer remains, “Stretch me, Lord.  Build me into the mighty man you want me to be.”  I find myself thankful.

“You make known to me the path of life;
in your presence there is fullness of joy;
at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead.”
–(Psalms 16:11, 17:15, 2 Cor. 1:9)

Precious Time

Having a full-time job is great.  It really is.  I experienced one of the most amazing and joyful feelings when I realized that I was making real hard-earned money, money that I could give away to those who really need it.  Discovering new ways to be generous is a true blessing to me.

Unfortunately, distractions come.  Time is short.  There is so much good I can accomplish in the world, so many people needing God.  What do I do?  Sleep?  Read?  Play games?

I just bought a PS3 last Friday.  It’s fun and entertaining for sure, but so worthless.  If I’ve learned one thing from that PS3 so far, it’s that I need God.  Absolutely nothing in this world will ever satisfy this hunger deep down in my soul.  I want to see His kingdom come to this Earth.  I want to know Him intimately.  That takes time.  With this job, I have little of it to spare.

Lord, burn away everything that hinders love.  Let me need You more.

“His mouth is most sweet, and he is altogether desirable.  This is my beloved and this is my friend, O daughters of Jerusalem.”—Song 5:16

Accents

Just a thought: when you talk with someone long enough, you begin to acquire their accent.  You will sound like they do.  You can tell if someone is from New York, Australia, England or South Africa just by hearing their voice.

When we pray, we talk to God.  We speak, and we listen.   I wonder how long it takes to start speaking in the accent of Heaven?  In what we say, how do we reflect our encounters with Him?  Others can tell who we’ve been hanging around the most.  Let it be the right One.

“Never stop praying.”—1 Thessalonians 5:17

This Is My Home

It really is strange, moving to a new place.  Geographically, spiritually and relationally, everything is different now.  You see, I visited Tallahassee last week, and what I found was this: it is no longer my home.

I flew down for my friends’ wedding(which was incredible), and I got to see and talk with most of my good friends from the last four years(who are all amazingly lovely people).  I was blessed, for sure, to have that opportunity.  Finally, though, I had to face the reality: I just don’t belong there any more.  It’s unnerving, quickly growing distant from many old friends and very slowly developing new ones.  It leaves me in a kind of in-between place.

There is good news for me.  I know I was placed here in DC by God.  And since that is the case, I know He has a purpose in mind.  This is my home, because He is with me, and my heart belongs to Him.  Wherever He sends me I go, even if it’s hard for a while.  His love reigns and will reign forever in me; I am in good hands.

“His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness.”—2 Peter 1:3

Rebellion, Protest and the Divine Right of Kings

Living in DC, most all the local buzz is about politics.  It’s a little strange for me, because I was never really that interested in politics.  I tended to ignore it most of the time.  This was my philosophy: God controls politics anyway(Romans 13:1-7), so why worry about it?

Some protesters got arrested a couple days ago in the hallway outside Nancy Pelosi’s office.  They had been tearing pages from the new health care bill, throwing crumpled pieces through the doorway while shouting things like “You’re going to Hell!”  Embarrassing things like that serve to strengthen my philosophy to just stay out of it.

But still, I pray.  The Bible says to pray, so that’s what I do.  I pray in public places, and I pray in the closet.  I’m really not certain how effective the public prayer is.  After all, Jesus discouraged it.  It can seem like a protest, and I don’t want to be a rebel(1 Sam. 15:23).

What I do know is that God uses our leaders for His purposes.  Here is a prayer I spoke silently in front of the Supreme Court the other day: “Lord, just as you used your servant Nebuchadnezzar to judge the Daughter of Zion, use these nine Supreme Court justices to judge the Daughter of Washington with all righteousness.”

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”—1 Timothy 2:1-2