The Reality Is…

God is God, and I am not.
I shall never be forgotten,
For God is good all the time.
Omnipresent, He is with me always.

I am a man; I should act like one.
I am a son of God, by the Son.
I am a soldier, enlisted to fight the devil,
I am a prince, born to set an example.

Hate, jealousy, murder are all the same.
Detestable to the Holy One.
Lust, adultery, fornication, same thing.
Not even a hint, that’s the only true way.

Selfless, that’s what I want to be.
To get there I must go on a journey.
It will take faith, hope, and love
In greater measure than I can ever imagine,
But I will get there.  The promise is true;
I will be like Jesus.

“Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is.  Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure.” -1 John 3:2-3

Be Ready

I suppose this is slightly related to my last post.  It’s more of a logical follow-up, I guess.  If you think about it, aren’t lusts just another distraction, a chasing after the wind?  Where our hearts should truly be is in the Lord.  Almost anything can be a distraction from life’s true purpose, knowing God.  Entertainment is a big one, and so is money.  We need to be ready to serve God at all times.

Life is busy, that’s for sure.  I think that we first need to break it down into its priorities, think about what really matters.  And what matters more than anything else?  I believe it is our relationship with God.  God matters more than money, more than our own “happiness” or comfort, even more than your own family.  Jesus said in Luke 14:26, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.”  Your family are your loved ones, the people you care about most.  In comparison to our love for God, even our love for them should be like nothing.

How can we plan our faith around our lives?  So many times, we try to fit God in with all our other chores, jobs, families, friends and entertainments.  We’ll make time for God on Sunday mornings, maybe during a small group at some time during the week, maybe a daily half-hour devotional.  But what does God really want?  All our heart, soul, mind and strength.  Nothing less.  We cannot put God in our wallet like a credit card to just pull out and use whenever we want.  He is transcendent, far above and beyond everything else, and He wants our whole life.

What we should be focused on is not how much God can do for us, but how much we can do for God.  We must be ready for anything, because “the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night.”  We must be ready to serve at all times and at all costs.  We must be willing to do anything and be anyone He wants us to be.  Live with faith, confidence.  Do not throw those away.  For in the end, we will stand before God alone.  Will He say to you, “well done, good and faithful servant”?  Or will He say, “I never knew you”?

“But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,” -1 Peter 3:15

Crush

God’s really been revealing the stupidity and sinfulness of crushes to me.  Maybe it’s just for me, or maybe it’s just for guys, but I really believe that I’ve been caught in a deceitful sinful pattern in my life.  It started way back as far as I can remember, and it’s taken this long for me to actually realize it.

It might be a little strange to hear a 20-year-old college graduate carrying on about crushes, but I really think this needs to be written down.  You see, I’ve always been really shy, especially around women.  And lust is a real thing.  I think the devil tries to twist something good, attraction between people, and change it into something really really bad.  A crush is a lie to yourself, and one of the most deceptive forms of lust.

So what’s the difference between being attracted to someone and a crush?  Sometimes it’s hard to tell.  I’d say a crush is more of a private emotional thing, probably leading to jealousy.  If you find yourself putting your heart into a person you don’t even know, creating a one-way soul tie in your mind around your perception of that person, it’s probably wrong.  Another sign is if you find yourself lying to others about your feelings.  A crush is a private thing grounded in fantasy, and it stays out of touch with reality.

What if your crush gets a girlfriend or boyfriend?  You probably know already.  Many times, it results in you feeling jealous.  What’s the sin count now?  Lust, lies, hate… where does it end?  I don’t know how it is for women, but for guys, why do you not vocalize what you’re feeling?  One of two reasons: either you’re too scared or it’s just lust, and both are sin.  If you know God, you know that we are not supposed to be slaves to fear.  Living in fear is sin.  Are you scared?  Trust God to lead you in what He wants you to do.  If you really like someone, tell them.  Quit playing games with your own heart, and tell the truth.  Being rejected is far better than deceiving yourself.  If you know it’s a lust problem, repent immediately.  Don’t let it go any further; it’s that simple.

If you know what I’m talking about, you know it’s not that simple.  It can be really tough to let go of a crush.  Many times you find yourself just finding another one the next day.  It’s a pattern of sin.  Why do we do it?  Why do we mess with our own hearts?  I think it’s because they’re not in the right place to begin with.  First and foremost, our hearts should belong to God.  We should be seeking after Him, not some fake emotional high we give ourselves at the sake of another oblivious person.  The answer to all this?  Repentance.  We must turn our hearts to God and away from sin.

For so many years it’s been dreams, obsession, fantasy, fakeness: one young woman after the next.  I need to get back to reality.  Only one person can take away sin, and that’s Jesus Christ.  The devil’s had me in this area for WAY too long.  I need to learn to love like God does.  I guess the mere fact that I’m writing this post gives me some hope.  I know that God’s started something good in me, and I know He will be faithful to complete it.

“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” -Deuteronomy 4:29

Graduation

Well, it’s over.  I’ve unofficially graduated from The Florida State University.  Finals are done, and I’ve walked across the stage.  I’m actually a little sad.  College was a great time for me.  I think I’ve matured so much as a man during these last three years.  I’ve made some mistakes and learned from them.  I’ve been built up in the faith, and I’ve helped others along as well.  I’ve made a lot of friends and learned a whole lot about myself and computer science too.

Now here’s a good question: what now?  Honestly, I don’t know what to expect.  The last sixteen years of my life have been leading up to this day, but now that it’s here, it doesn’t seem that special.  I guess I actually have to do something with my life now.  Huh… that’s pretty weird.  A job, responsibilities?  I have no idea what that’s like.  I suppose I’ll find out soon enough.

“Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise.” -James 5:13

Reckless Abandon

What kind of life should we as Christians be living?  Well, I guess you know what I think already: it’s the title of this post.  To really live thelife of love and servant-hood that Christ calls us to, we must recklessly abandon our entire lives to God.  You might be asking, “Seriously, Joel?  Doesn’t God want to prosper us in our lives and give us money?  Why would He want us to abandon them?”  If you are, I’m glad you asked.  There’s plenty of Biblical evidence for this.

“Submit yourselves, then, to God.  Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
-James 4:7

How can we live in victory over sin?  By recklessly abandoning our lives to God.  Let me tell you, I’ve always been a naturally introverted person.  I keep things to myself: things I’m feeling, problems I’m going through, offenses I’ve taken.  The problem is, I end up putting myself in a box.  This box, walled by sin, prevents me from living righteously and holy.

The box is “my life”.  I’ve created it for myself, and no one else.  On one hand, I find comfort in it: everything in there, I know intimately.  If I need to feel something, I’ll reach in there and pull out some prejudice that was placed there long ago.  On the other hand, I hate it with a passion.  That box prevents me from ever seeing the world through God’s eyes.  Everything I do and say is first passed through that filter, then comes out, not as great as it was supposed to be, and usually just as silence.

Sometimes, I think it’s the most natural “Christian” thing to do some “spiritual housecleaning” in your box.  You know that one sin that’s been hurting you lately?  Yeah, take it out of your box.  Throw it in the trash!  Never look at it again.  It seems like a good idea, right?  Here’s the problem with that strategy: you still have a box.  What came out yesterday can just as easily go right back in today.  You don’t really throw anything away; you just put it in a junk pile in the corner, ready and waiting to be put right back in that box.  Even an empty box has the potential to be filled with evil.  As long as you hold on to at least a part of your life, you will never be free.

Here’s a better strategy: throw the whole box away.  Even better, give your box to God to throw away, because he’ll toss it as far as the east is from the west, man!  Lose it!  When a sin tries to creep back in, it won’t even have a place to grab onto!  Take that nasty old filter and replace it with a new one.  Think of an air filter.  You know that nasty old one you have?  No matter how much you wash it, it will never be new.  No matter how much caked-on dirt you pull off, there will always be more.  It will never be clean until you throw it away completely and get a new one.  That new filter comes from God, and you won’t ever find it by yourself.  It won’t be given to you until you relinquish the old one.

Your own desire, your own passion, your own will, your own life: they aren’t anything compared to the life God has prepared for you.  Everything: that’s a lot of things.  God wants it all.  God wants all of you.  Everything–giving your whole heart, nothing more and nothing less.  It is only by submission, surrender, the abandoning of yourself that God can give you a new heart.  That’s what I call salvation.  That’s what I call Lordship.  That’s what I call the blood of Jesus that takes away sins of the world.  If you’ve given your heart and life to God, but are still holding onto a corner of that box, let go.  It is nothing.  God has so much more for you than you could ever imagine.  Step out in faith, and let go completely.

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will
find it.” -Matthew 10:39

Repentance

This is sort of an update on yesterday’s post.  I don’t know if you could tell by reading it, but I was in a pretty low spot last night emotionally.  The good news is, God is faithful.

Sometimes, I think to get the greatest breakthrough from sin, you need to reach a low point.  Then, by deciding to seek God in that state of weakness, you find true strength.  Many times, you must realize how much a sin is really hurting you, by coming to that place of despair, before you can make that decision to let it go.  You may not even realize it is a sin until you can see the real effects of it on your life.

Even something like jealousy can be a huge problem.  Things like that, that you keep inside, always growing, never coming out, are many times the most elusive forms of sin.  No one can see the effects of it, maybe not even you.  Things like a crush on a member of the opposite sex, which I believe can be a very subtle and dangerous form of lust, is similar.  Those hidden feelings, bottled up emotions, that hatred and lust(which are really the sins of murder and adultery) can destroy you from within, little by little.

What is the answer to this?  How can we really be rid of sin?  There is a simple, though never easy answer.  We must return our heart to where it belongs: to God.  Worship, pray, cry, read the Word.  We must repent for our sins, do a 180 and run the other way.  That’s why I believe it’s much easier for us to defeat sin when we get to a low point in life.  It’s always easier to let go of it when you realize sin is destroying you from the inside.  Cry out to God in your time of need, for He is always faithful to forgive.  By the name of Jesus, you will be free.

Just to let you all know, I’m feeling great right now.  You know that Joy of the Lord?  It’s pretty great.  His mercy endures forever, guys.  If you’re going through anything like I was, just remember: freedom comes by surrendering your heart to the only place it belongs–the arms of Christ.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” -2 Corinthians 12:9

Feelings

Emotions are a crazy thing.  The world isn’t run by them, and our lives shouldn’t be dictated by them either.  But what do you do when your little emotional world seems to be imploding in on you, when things you were wishing and hoping for aren’t coming true, when what you feel should be just isn’t happening?  How do you face a trial that seems like it goes on forever?  How can you come to terms with your false expectations that have dropped out from under you?  It’s easy to say “get over it,” but it’s a different thing entirely to actually do it.  Honestly, I’m not entirely sure how.  But here are a few good thoughts.

Trust in God, because His love never changes.  His mercies endure forever.  God will never disappoint.  It might sound like I’m using God as a crutch here, but he is our Father, after all.  He is the one we run to.  My God is a strong tower.  The righteous run into Him and they are safe.  Maybe for those tough times, when you need to get through something, you do need to fall back into His arms.  Let go, and let God.  Let God work something new in you.  He’ll do it, because He’s faithful.  He is love.  God is all-powerful; He is everywhere; He is all-knowing.  He knows exactly what you’re going through.  Let Him comfort you and raise you up to new hights.

“Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
       his love endures forever.” -1 Chronicles 16:34

Worship

Yesterday was a great day.  If there was ever a day I needed encouragement, it was yesterday.  I’ve just finished my last week of classes, and now I’m getting ready for my four finals.  In a week, I’ll be out of Tallahassee and on vacation, graduated from college.  I’ll be away from my church and have a seriously reduced field of accountability.  Every time in the past three years, vacation has been a time of backsliding for me.  This time is going to be different, by God’s grace.  That’s where yesterday comes in.

Yesterday, my worship pastor gave the sermon at church.  It was about worship, of course.  I think he did a great job communicating God’s heart for us.  It was definitely a message I needed to hear, especially in my time of impending change.  Here’s the main point: we were made to worship.  We are designed by God to worship Him.

First point: posture.  Biblical worship begins with Lordship.  To begin to worship, we must first acknowledge Jesus Christ as Lord.  Until we do that, until we come to Him humbly, with the right heart, we cannot truly worship Him.  God is our King, not our homeboy.  We must come before Him in awe of His majesty, in obedience to the Holy Spirit.  Worship is not a once-a-week event.  Woship is a constant attitude and lifestyle of submission to the One Holy God.

Second point: pain.  Biblical worship will bring revelation and repentance.  If you are in the presence of God, He will change you.  If you sit in the sun for five hours, you can expect your skin to be burned.  When you sit in the presence of the God of the universe, expect to be changed drastically.  God will produce the character and discipline in us that He wants us to have, as long as we are living to worship Him.  It may be painful much of the time, that coming to terms with the sinful nature, but what is produced in us is so much greater than what is lost.

Third point: power.  Biblical worship produces power.  When we come before the King, humbly, allowing the process of purification, the result is change.  The fruit of worship is change.  The power of God is given to those purified ones.  Isaiah, when in the presence of God, could do nothing but worship Him.  He was purified by fire.  The end result of this experience?  Power.  Isaiah declared boldly in response to God’s call, “Here am I.  Send me!” (Isaiah 6:1-8 )

I believe this vacation starting next week will be a time of testing for me.  Can I continue to seek after God in the presence of so many distractions?  I have faith that I will.  Can I continue to live responsibly when my surroundings are discouraging it?  I must have that faith to press on.  Can I worship and pray continually, when the world is competing for my attention?  I pray that it will be so.  This is a test, and if I am faithful with the small things, God will entrust me with even greater responsibility.  If I want to break out of a pattern of mediocrity, I must give God my heart.  I love this verse:

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.  Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:1-2

Changing Times

I was thinking about the future today.  I usually try not to do that too often, because the Bible says in Matt. 6:34 not to worry about the future.  Sometimes, though, I guess you need to think about it.

What will this life bring to me in the near future?  What will I be doing in say, half a year?  These are the kinds of questions I was thinking about today.  I was prophesied over last Wednesday, and a few things stood out to me with regards to this.  I was told to take advantage of the time given to me, and that the next three years would be a great time of spiritual growth for me.  I should not worry about things like future relationships, but I should use this time to grow in the Lord.

Honestly, I have no big dreams for the future.  I don’t know “what I want to be when I grow up”, if you will.  I know that God has called me to greatness, as He does everyone, but I have no idea what that means specifically for me.  Right now I think I want to stay in Tallahassee after I graduate, at least for a while.  I want to find a job and support myself, but ultimately, I’m waiting to find my purpose.  I want to grow in my relationship with God.

I’m tempted to stay in Tally just for the fun of it, to hold onto some sort of “college life” feeling, but I think that’s wrong.  Once I graduate, I will not be in college any more.  My life will be different.  I need to move on from the former things.  After high school, I knew needed to move on to a new city, a new college, a new church family.  This time, I know I need to move into a new season of life.  It may not be moving to a new city, but I will still be in a completely different season than I’m finishing now.  God wants me to embrace this new season with confidence, knowing that whatever it brings will be good and for my benefit.  He will do everything in His power(that’s a lot, by the way) to help me start fresh.

“Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,
       for his compassions never fail. 
 They are new every morning;
       great is your faithfulness.”
-Lamentations 3:22-23

Food For Thought

Sometimes, you can have too much of a good thing.  When things get excessive, sometimes they’re just wrong.  Take food, for instance.  Just to let you know, I love food.  I think it’s great.  Sometimes, though, the simple act of stuffing yourself can get nasty.

I participated in a food eating contest today.  I came in last place, and do you know why?  It’s because I didn’t want to make myself sick.  Well, plus, I’m not that much of an eater.  And I just stopped fasting a week ago.  That really isn’t an excuse, because most of the people who beat me had been too.

What’s the point of this post?  I’m not really sure.  I actually did end up making myself a little sick.  I do that too much, I think.  Maybe I should think a little more before I eat… One thing I’m grateful for, though: you can never get too much of God’s Spirit.  I really love the Proverbs:

“Do not eat the food of a stingy man, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of man who is always thinking about the cost.  “Eat and drink,” he says to you, but his heart is not with you.  You will vomit up the little you have eaten and will have wasted your compliments.” -Proverbs 23:6-8