Jealousy

Okay, so this fourth dream was definitely the most powerful for me.  Maybe I’m just too emotional, but this one really hit me hard, guys.  It’s not that I’ve never felt jealousy before.  It’s just that during this dream, I felt it far greater than ever before.  Here’s the summary:

I’m standing, looking at a young man and a young woman hanging out together; they’re running around.  It was a little strange to see grown people playing games like little children, but that was about it.  It wasn’t anything bad or perverted in any way, just two people having fun.  It looked innocent.  But to me on the outside, it seemed incredibly offensive.  I started to feel a jealousy that I’ve never experienced before for the woman.  It was so great, I really didn’t think I could stand it.  I wasn’t being selfish in the dream, I don’t think, but that extreme jealousy was there.  I couldn’t say anything, and the two people couldn’t care less that I was standing right next to them.  They continued to ignore me, and I continued to be jealous.  I thought things like “if only she knew me.”  Not for my sake, but for hers.

So anyway, strange dream.  Maybe I’ll feel that way in real life someday, but I haven’t yet.  My God is a jealous God.  That’s the point.  I really think God was using this dream to teach me a lesson about His love for us.  When you think about His love, what do you usually think about?  Do you think about His many blessings, His promises to never leave us, His plans and destiny for our lives?  Maybe you think about the mercy He so freely gives, the pains and trials that He brought you through.  Those are all amazing aspects of God’s love for us, but now more than ever, when I think about His love, I think about jealousy.

Think about it for a while.  Nothing hurts more than seeing one you truly love being given to someone else.  Love is not self-seeking.  It’s not selfish in any way.  The reason God is jealous for us is because He loves us so much.  He knows about us and Him; He knows we’re perfect for each other.  The reason He created us, the reason He saves us, the reason He’s sanctifying us is this: God first loved us.  He feels the pain of jealousy when we give our hearts to idols.  When we’re stuck doing our own thing, God loves us.  When we’ve abandoned Him and run in the opposite direction, God loves us.  He loves us when every fiber of our being is denying His very existence.  To see you trapped in sin breaks His heart.  He weeps; He mourns; He longs for you.  He wants you to love Him, not because He needs it, but because He knows you need Him.  God, our creator, loves you.  Jesus loves you.  That’s why He died for you.  God is Love.  God is Jealous.  All we can ever hope to do is love Him back.

“Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.” -Exodus 34:14

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2 thoughts on “Jealousy

  1. Great stuff, Joel. I love this aspect of God’s love. Knowing God is jealous over me when I give my heart to lesser things makes me fall in love with him that much more. Song of Solomon 8:6 is another of my favorite verses on this topic:

    “Place me as a seal over your heart, as a seal upon your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyeliding as the grave. It burns like a blazing fire, like a mighty flame.”

    …jealousy unyeliding as the grave… That’s a pretty intense emotion!

  2. Grace Kim

    Exactly! it’s amazing how tiny we are compared to Him and yet at the same time we think we don’t need Him and are bigger than Him.

    Yea, definatley working on the story..prolly won’t get done until a LONG time later..always happens to a writer 🙂

    Keep it up, Joel! Keep it strong!

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