God’s really been revealing the stupidity and sinfulness of crushes to me. Maybe it’s just for me, or maybe it’s just for guys, but I really believe that I’ve been caught in a deceitful sinful pattern in my life. It started way back as far as I can remember, and it’s taken this long for me to actually realize it.
It might be a little strange to hear a 20-year-old college graduate carrying on about crushes, but I really think this needs to be written down. You see, I’ve always been really shy, especially around women. And lust is a real thing. I think the devil tries to twist something good, attraction between people, and change it into something really really bad. A crush is a lie to yourself, and one of the most deceptive forms of lust.
So what’s the difference between being attracted to someone and a crush? Sometimes it’s hard to tell. I’d say a crush is more of a private emotional thing, probably leading to jealousy. If you find yourself putting your heart into a person you don’t even know, creating a one-way soul tie in your mind around your perception of that person, it’s probably wrong. Another sign is if you find yourself lying to others about your feelings. A crush is a private thing grounded in fantasy, and it stays out of touch with reality.
What if your crush gets a girlfriend or boyfriend? You probably know already. Many times, it results in you feeling jealous. What’s the sin count now? Lust, lies, hate… where does it end? I don’t know how it is for women, but for guys, why do you not vocalize what you’re feeling? One of two reasons: either you’re too scared or it’s just lust, and both are sin. If you know God, you know that we are not supposed to be slaves to fear. Living in fear is sin. Are you scared? Trust God to lead you in what He wants you to do. If you really like someone, tell them. Quit playing games with your own heart, and tell the truth. Being rejected is far better than deceiving yourself. If you know it’s a lust problem, repent immediately. Don’t let it go any further; it’s that simple.
If you know what I’m talking about, you know it’s not that simple. It can be really tough to let go of a crush. Many times you find yourself just finding another one the next day. It’s a pattern of sin. Why do we do it? Why do we mess with our own hearts? I think it’s because they’re not in the right place to begin with. First and foremost, our hearts should belong to God. We should be seeking after Him, not some fake emotional high we give ourselves at the sake of another oblivious person. The answer to all this? Repentance. We must turn our hearts to God and away from sin.
For so many years it’s been dreams, obsession, fantasy, fakeness: one young woman after the next. I need to get back to reality. Only one person can take away sin, and that’s Jesus Christ. The devil’s had me in this area for WAY too long. I need to learn to love like God does. I guess the mere fact that I’m writing this post gives me some hope. I know that God’s started something good in me, and I know He will be faithful to complete it.
“But if from there you seek the LORD your God, you will find him if you look for him with all your heart and with all your soul.” -Deuteronomy 4:29