I gave my heart to Jesus when I was four years old. Over the years, though, I’ve had my struggles and failings. Four years ago, I was in a dark place. I believed in God and was trying to do the church thing, but in reality, I’d put my agenda first: my life, my pleasure, my way. Looking back on that time in recent years, I wondered if I was even saved. The depths of hypocrisy were real in that time, but God’s grace towards me was greater. He mercifully pulled me out of a lifestyle of sin, filled me with His Holy Spirit and set me on the path of righteousness again.
For the last three and a half years, I’ve grown so in love with God. He’s taken me to incredible places, showed me wonderful things and filled me with joy. The new things are good, and they will continue. The question arises then, who will I be in the coming days? What type of person am I? What things does a person like me do? For those answers, the Lord brought my attention to history.
This past week, for some reason I kept remembering a time when, at four years old, a small tragedy hit my life. My favorite stuffed animal fell under my bed where I couldn’t reach it! In that moment, instead of crying or complaining, I sang about the love of God. I created a song right then, in the moment of weakness and helplessness. I was joyful in the presence of my Father.
This is the mindset to which I am returning and in which I must remain. No matter what happens, I must sing. Because my God is good, I must sing. It’s in my DNA. It’s who I am. I’m a singer and a writer and a carrier of joy! Far be it from me to ever assume that my intellectual maturity level prohibits me from enjoying my Daddy and resting in His love. I am a son of the Most High God. I became His son when I was four years old, when I was born again as a worshiper of Him.
“But to all who believed him and accepted him, he gave the right to become children of God. They are reborn—not with a physical birth resulting from human passion or plan, but a birth that comes from God.”–John 1:12-13